Modeling: Actions Speak Louder | S.4 Ep. 6

Children learn as much, if not more from your actions as they do from your words. Our parenting pros discuss how modeling with our own words and actions can show children about desired behaviors.

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Mackenzie Johnson: 0:09

Welcome to The Science of Parenting podcast where we connect you with research based information that fits your family. We'll talk about the realities of being a parent, and how research can help guide our parenting decisions. I'm Mackenzie Johnson, parent of two littles with their own quirks. And I'm a parenting educator.

Lori Korthals: 0:25

And I'm Lori Korthals, parent of three in three different life stages. One is launched, one is in college, and one is in high school. And I am a parenting educator. And this is our last week in this season.

Mackenzie Johnson: 0:39

Yes, the last episode of Season Four. It was so fast.

Lori Korthals: 0:43

It did go fast.

Mackenzie Johnson: 0:45

A lot shorter than our last season was I guess so that makes sense.

Lori Korthals: 0:48

That's true.

Mackenzie Johnson: 0:51

But yeah, we've been able to talk all about this parenting approach and digging into these different components of it. And so today we get to talk about the last one, right? We get to talk about modeling. That's the final M. I know the suspense has been killing you. Except for, I think, we already told you. Yes. So yes. Today, we talk about modeling. Right?

Lori Korthals: 1:13

We are and I think that you maybe had a moment of genius thought regarding this season. Do you want to share that now? Or hold us in suspense for later?

Mackenzie Johnson: 1:25

Okay, actually, because I know something about later, I think I'm gonna hold. I will build suspense that way. Yes. All right. But so yeah, you can hang on for that. I promise I'll tell you my stroke of genius that I had. But we do want to remind you as we think about this approach to parenting and the different tasks that we do around modeling and monitoring and preventing that parenting does require a life long perspective, right? Not just the itsy bitsy of each and every day, it's this build up of over time, the relationship that we have with our kids. And so we don't want you feeling any shame or guilt or blame from us as we talk through these different tasks we have with parenting. We know it is built over time, and one day is just that, it's just one day. So we get to have this lifelong perspective with parenting our kids. So same thing goes for modeling - life long perspective of how we model for our kids.

Lori Korthals: 2:22

I like how you said that, it's just one day in a life long role of parenting. And I think that we can sometimes be so overwhelmed with our parenting role that, gosh, when you just describe it that way, it's just one day.

Mackenzie Johnson: 2:38

Yes, I actually had a whole moment a week or two ago, where it was like, oh, this day and about my parenting with my kids. And I just felt like I couldn't do it and actually had to tap into some other resources that I had with some local support. And I did at the end of the day, I did have to say to myself, this was one day, one day. This was one day and we get a whole lot of other days. Just one day.

Lori Korthals: 3:06

Exactly, exactly. So okay, here we are our final M, our final episode of season three, should we start with a definition? Always. Alright. So remember, our word today is modeling. And our definition for modeling is going to be this. So modeling is about using our own words and actions to show others, our children, our desired behavior. And research shows that this is especially important with kids because children learn as much if not more, from your actions than they do your words. Okay, yeah. Not very surprising, right. We as parents, grandparents, you know, aunts, uncles, we know that children are watching us.

Mackenzie Johnson: 3:55

Absolutely and we're constantly reminded.

Lori Korthals: 3:57

And we are constantly reminded that they are watching us, right. Listening to us.

Mackenzie Johnson: 4:01

Of all the terms that we cover in the season, I feel like modeling is the one that people are probably like, okay, yeah, like I know, got it. Yeah. All right. I know what that is. I don't need a definition. So we won't belabor the definition. Instead, we'll go into a little bit more of the research on it. And remember a lot of this season is based on the publication from the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Development and so, a little bit more research on the why like, okay, yeah, people always say this about modeling for our kids. What does research tell us about it? Exactly. It's not that surprising that kids imitate, right? Yeah, they imitate. They are sponges and copycats of both words and actions. And I think that, for me, that's actually the part that it's like, oh, yeah, words, right, and actions. And sometimes we wish they weren't such good imitators, right?

Lori Korthals: 5:00

We do sometimes wish that, don't we, along all of the lifespan of children's ages, right? Even when they're launched, we wish they wouldn't imitate us.

Mackenzie Johnson: 5:10

I wish I hadn't taught you that. Yes, unintentionally taught you that. Exactly. Are there any specifics that come to mind for you? I think every parent has these kinds of stories of like, oops.

Lori Korthals: 5:21

Absolutely. Early early on in my parenting journey, one that really has stuck out and I share it all the time, as I'm teaching child development is, my oldest child, when she was learning to talk, right, so you know, that 14-16-18 month age, she began to use the word this. The word this was one of her first words. And as a child development, you know, background person and parenting educator, I did not expect the word this t-h-i-s to, you know, make that list of first words. And I was kind of surprised because I learned about this one day when she was pointing at her blanket, her favorite blue blankie, and said this, and I thought, yes, this is your blanket. This, she said, and she shook her head, yes, pointing at her blanket. This? And I said, yes, blanket. And she shook her head, no, this and I thought, oh, my gosh, my child thinks that the word for this blue fuzzy thing is this. And then what's in your brain is rewinding all these conversations you've had? And I kept thinking, well, of course, she would think it's called this because isn't that what we say? Do you want this? Do you want this? Don't you want this? And so, yes, modeling is actions and words. And my very first, you know, word that my oldest child said was this, because that's how we described everything. And so since that time, I have definitely reminded myself and others to be careful what you're modeling and what you're saying. It might all be this.

Mackenzie Johnson: 7:09

It's all this, you want this, like, of course you say that, do you want this? Do you want this? Do you want? Okay, yeah. I actually have an example. I do. Definitely have my own. But I think of an example that one of our friends and coworkers says when she used to do family childcare, they used to brush teeth after lunch. And so you know, they'd all brush teeth, including her. And all the kids when they were done brushing teeth, like bang their toothbrush on the sink, and she always was just like, okay, why do they do that? Where did they learn this? And so for a long time, every kid when they brush their teeth, before they put it away, and so you know, she's brushing her teeth with them modeling. Tapping the water off of it, she was tapping the water off of her toothbrush before she put it away. And she's like, oh, me. They think that's a part of the process of brushing your teeth is to tap your toothbrush. They didn't know she was just shaking off that last bit of the water. They just know, okay, you brush and then before you put it away, you tap it on the sink. Mm hmm. And so yeah, you gave kind of a words like, yep, they're soaking in our words that we use. And I definitely even think of my older one, a phrase that seems not like a big deal when I say it as a grownup, I would like, what the heck. Okay, and then when I heard her say it, please don't say that. Okay, I won't say that anymore. I'm sorry.

Lori Korthals: 8:44

It's in perfect context too, right.

Mackenzie Johnson: 8:48

What the heck? Okay, I'm sorry. I need to not say that. So yeah, lots of examples I'm sure that every listener has of times when we wish our modeling didn't pay off quite so well, words and actions. And we gave kind of little examples, and I got most of the really funny ones. That's when it's the best because it's like, oh, man, I didn't even know you're watching that. Exactly. But we know that our kids model across all ages and stages, right?

Lori Korthals: 9:20

They do. They do. And if you think about the things that, you know, developmentally they're learning at the time, it totally makes sense what they're imitating and modeling as well. So, you know, I gave the example of the word this. Well, during that timeframe, infants are having a language explosion. And so absolutely, they're really listening. And then as they become toddlers, their whole idea of growing is centered around that independence, autonomy. And, you know, toddlers are me, mine, I do it, and they want to do everything on their own. They want to put their clothes on themselves, their shoes on, they want to zip their coats. They've been watching you do it on your own. And so developmentally their little body and brain says, I do it, mine, me. And as you think about modeling and mentoring and what our role is, yes, it is, you know, do we? Do we put our socks on one sock and then a shoe? Or do we put two socks on? And then two shoes? Those are things that they're watching and learning from us. Right?

Mackenzie Johnson: 10:38

Absolutely. They're soaking it in and yeah, the way you explain that of our toddler watches us walk around and do stuff, like I do stuff by myself all day. I get my own food. And I put all my own clothes. And I get myself ready.

Lori Korthals: 10:52

They're working on independence.

Mackenzie Johnson: 10:54

You know, working on independence. Yeah, I solve problems. Yes. I know, my toddler's working on independence. But the idea of, he watches me walk around all day doing all my stuff by myself. Of course I do it.

Lori Korthals: 11:08

Yes.

Mackenzie Johnson: 11:09

Of course he says I do it. Yes. Yes. Because you know whatever it is we do, we climb up on our chair by ourselves. Oh, no wonder he wants to get in his chair by himself. Exactly. Modeling all the time, coming through.

Lori Korthals: 11:25

So then when you think about preschoolers, they're in that stage of social development. I'm going outside of the house. I may be going to preschool. I may be spending time with neighbors and friends and grandparents away from you. I might be going to daycare. And so they're learning developmentally how to be apart from you and being involved in those interactions. So what kind of things might they be showing that we have modeled them?

Mackenzie Johnson: 11:58

Yes, I think so much of how we interact with people. And especially, you know, in this age of preschool, and honestly, even into school. You know, at preschool they're just kind of learning what these rules and norms are at school. And then in school age, they're really practicing them a lot more in different contexts and stuff. But there's so much of like, the sharing, the how. Actually, one we've been talking about at my house is how we compromise with a friend. Yeah. So like, when my daughter's talking about, well, I want to do it this way. And they wanted to do it that way. And we have different rules, is what she said, like they want to make the rules, and I want to make the rules, because my rules are better. And so like we're teaching that skill of compromise, and we're hopefully modeling it, right, like, what does it look like? Okay, you want this. I want this. How can we find a way to get parts of both? And so even modeling that with my daughter showing her like, okay. So I think we do a lot of modeling around how we interact with other people at this stage?

Lori Korthals: 13:01

Absolutely. And we hope that what we're modeling, you know, sticks with them, essentially, because we are not there to see them practice it out and play it out. And so it really does become that kind of age of first realizing that our children are going out sort of representing us, and representing our parenting, and, you know, we begin to wonder what is my child saying and doing? And how are they acting when I'm not around? And that's where some of this parent shaming and guilt comes in about this age, right? Because our children are not with us 24/7 anymore all the time.

Mackenzie Johnson: 13:40

And they're telling our family secrets. They're blabbing about us to the world, when we're modeling things for them, like, oh, I wish that wasn't what you had chosen to tell people. But I do think this is where we really at this age, we see so much of the modeling and mentoring overlap. I mean, at every stage, but we use our modeling to really teach our kids these skills. And especially at this age, where we're gonna model it with them so that they can do it. Right. We can mentor so they can do it with someone else. Exactly. But really at all stages.

Lori Korthals: 14:18

Exactly. Well and then they come into the preteen and teen years, right? So, you know, we talked about independence as toddlers, and we've said this before, and research tells us that the teen brain/preteen brain ends up being kind of a big toddler brain because it's so full of hormones and growing, etc. The brain connections are still firing away. And so they're beginning to be able to think independently. They are definitely out and about with others and they might be calling us out more often about, you know, are we doing what we said we would do? Well, you said you were going to make it this way, do it this way and I don't see you doing that, which can cause some parental child conflict, correct?

Mackenzie Johnson: 15:06

Absolutely well, and you know, this new phase of independence different han the toddler phase of inde endence where they want to zi their own jacket. But yeah, hey're a little bit wiser and more mature. And they can notice when we're inconsistent. e refer back to that word that the modeling at this age might o en the door for them to call us ut on maybe being a little bit o a hypocrite, like, no, you said this but then you didn't. Alr ght, busted, right?

Lori Korthals: 15:38

Yes. And, you know, as we think about that, I always bring back that word of respect. And that whole idea of what are we modeling? And are we modeling respect? Are we talking to our children in a respectful way, because we want them to speak respectfully to us. Are we talking about others with them in a respectful way? You know, sometimes we might get into this negative cycle of talking badly about someone else in front of them. And, you know, maybe it's another adult that they interact with, whether it be, you know, at school or out in the community, and they're picking up on how we speak about that person, what we think about that person behind the doors of our own home. And we have to recognize that they may go out and take that negative phrasing, those negative words, that negative respect, and actually put it into action because their brains aren't fully developed. And so we really do at these stages of preteens and teens need to make sure that, you know, what we're saying in front of them, they are still not old enough to control their emotions. And so how they behave in public is going to reflect back on us and may reflect back on things that we've done, you know, in front of them.

Mackenzie Johnson: 17:06

Absolutely. And the way that our views can translate into their actions is a huge part of what you just said. So right now, there's this huge group of, you know, they now teach math differently than they did when most parents were in school, right? Common Core. And so if we say to our kids, well, this math is stupid, this common core stuff doesn't make any sense. This is dumb, whatever, that could translate, you know, right? Our words might translate to them saying, I need to do my math homework.

Lori Korthals: 17:42

Exactly.

Mackenzie Johnson: 17:45

You're so right that the way we talk about it and talk about other people and other things, totally can translate to the choices, the actual behaviors and actions that they have at this stage. And I think you know, we talk a lot about how we talk about other people and other things, but also how we talk to them. Yeah, right. Like how we talk to our kids at this age. Like, don't yell at me as I yell at you.

Lori Korthals: 18:14

As my child yells up the stairs, and I yell back down, don't yell. Come up and talk to me. Oh, wait a second. I was just yelling. Yeah. It's a cycle. Yeah. A vicious cycle.

Mackenzie Johnson: 18:29

Lifelong, right. Lifelong. Yes. So we do know that our older kids can really start to notice that modeling, you know. But we can use it as a positive tool at this stage too, right? Modeling, like, I'm really frustrated with you. We're gonna talk about this later. You know, there's all kinds of modeling we can still do for them in this stage, even I think of that mentoring. It ties right back in again. Showing them how to do laundry, showing them how to split household chores and tasks. Those are all modeling things that teach them skills they need to know. These overlap.

Lori Korthals: 19:06

They do. They do.

Mackenzie Johnson: 19:07

They do. But luckily, that brings us right into some tips and strategies that we have, right? We know what modeling is, it's a matter of reflecting on it, right? Okay, how does my behavior model for my kids so we have strategies on what you can do, since most of us really know what the modeling is.

Lori Korthals: 19:27

And I think that is one thing that makes this season different from some of the other seasons is that whole idea that this is really about us and I'm giving a hint, aren't I? Okay, nevermind. I'm gonna go right

Mackenzie Johnson: 19:46

to my stroke of genius strategy.

Lori Korthals: 19:50

Okay, so the first one is, so as a parent, do you do as you say and say as you do. Because it's really not fair to tell our kids, don't shout, and then shout at them, right? It might sound something like, hey, if I'm late tonight, I'm going to go ahead and let you know. And if you're going to be late, I would appreciate that you would let me know. So kind of that give and take. If I expect this of you, I also expect it of myself. You know, I can't say, oh, hey, you're the only one that has to put your dishes in the dishwasher. But I actually have to put my dishes in the dishwasher, too. Absolutely.

Mackenzie Johnson: 20:37

Absolutely. Do as you say. Say as you do.

Lori Korthals: 20:39

Yes.

Mackenzie Johnson: 20:40

Monkey see, monkey do. Right. Oh, and Laurie actually already touched on this one, this big idea of respect. We're showing respect to other people and to our kids. So saying things like, I expect you to speak respectfully to me, means that they can say it back to us. Right, that modeling. And so even saying, I expect you to speak respectfully so I will speak respectfully to you. And one part of this that's an important part, again, with the modeling. This may require us to apologize to our kids when we don't hold up our end of the deal. When I say I will speak respectfully to you, and then I raise my voice or I'm short with you, or I say something unkind. That means I might have to own up to it. And again, great news, that means you get to model it for our kids that everybody's not perfect. Us included. So yeah, showing respect, and then making sure you hold up your end of the deal.

Lori Korthals: 21:39

And that really leads into the third strategy, which is to just be honest about how you're feeling. And I love this piece of it because what I feel like I've become most comfortable with in my parenting journey, now that one's launched, right, is that I feel like I can really be more authentic about when I'm frustrated, sad, happy, ecstatic, overjoyed, disappointed. And I feel like I don't have to hide feelings. And maybe that's because of their age. But I really feel like, you know, maybe I should have been more authentic and real all the time early on. I feel like I maybe was, but I know there are times that I wasn't and children are so able to feel what we're saying and what we're feeling that it is kind of silly for us to think that they aren't feeling what we're feeling. Actually, research with heart math says that our heart rate can impact their heart rate. So the idea that the strategy is to just be real about how you feel is really important.

Mackenzie Johnson: 22:52

Totally. And I even think of the context in my co-parenting relationship. If my spouse is being a little short with me, not short with me, but in our house we say a grouch. And then they're like, you know what, I just had a really long day at work. The context is like, oh, and I think that's okay for our kids to see too. You know what, I am really tired today. I'm having a hard time being patient. Absolutely. The modeling, oh the modeling. Exactly. Oh, and then the final one, which is to make sure that we tell our kids explicitly, that even when we are angry, or when our temper maybe gets the best of us, or our emotions get the best of us, that we still love them. And I feel like this is something our kids know, right? I tell them all the time. But it's really good to explicitly say like, I was really disappointed you did that and I still love you.

Lori Korthals: 23:51

And I still love you.

Mackenzie Johnson: 23:52

And I still love you. So that's honestly not even just modeling. I mean it is, but it's also responding to their needs, right? They still need parents who love them, and they do all these other things. And so being able to explicitly tell our kids that even when we were frustrated.

Lori Korthals: 24:07

I love those.

Mackenzie Johnson: 24:08

Those are the strategies for modeling, easy to say, right? Easy to understand what modeling is, harder to practice.

Lori Korthals: 24:16

Especially when we maybe are feeling stressed or when we aren't feeling well, you know, those are the times when it becomes really much more difficult to use those strategies and to tap into them. So just a good reminder that, you know, modeling is also happening when we don't feel good, and it's okay. It's okay to be authentic and real during those times.

Mackenzie Johnson: 24:43

Mm hmm. Totally. So I think that brings us to our Stop. Breathe. Talk. space where we bring in our producer, Mackenzie DeJong, and she gets to ask us a question.

Lori Korthals: 24:55

She does.

Mackenzie Johnson: 24:56

But I'm okay about it.

Mackenzie DeJong: 24:59

I was pausing because I thought you were going to reveal the secret and the secret is that I may or may not have given them the question up front.

Lori Korthals: 25:11

Finally, a year.

Mackenzie DeJong: 25:13

I know, after a whole year I gave them the question beforehand.

Mackenzie Johnson: 25:19

We have been nudging her, right? Usually it's an off the cuff. We don't know what she's gonna ask. And we have like, for so long been like, why don't you just like, what do you think? Like, what do you think? I mean, it'll give me more time to tell her. I'll be way more articulate. No, nothing. Today, we got it.

Mackenzie DeJong: 25:35

So, we're kind of talking through how do we want to summarize. Mackenzie was like, I have bright ideas. And I was like, why don't we just do that as our Stop. Breathe. Talk.? So my question for today is, at the end of this season on our RPM3 model, which by the way, is an acronym from previous episodes. Well, first of all, do you want to give us another quick summary of what we've talked about throughout the season to wrap us up here? And then did you have any reflections or revelations from the season that you would like to share?

Mackenzie Johnson: 26:14

I do.

Mackenzie DeJong: 26:15

Okay, go.

Mackenzie Johnson: 26:16

I do have one. It was hard for me to hold my breath for you to stop because I want to tell them. This is like, a revelation that I had and of course, at the end of the season, after we've recorded basically all of these, I did the same thing in season two. We realized like the six superpowers of self care, we realized it in the last episode. So just being consistent, guys. But the realization, so we've talked about RPM3 is a parenting model. It's a parenting approach. It's research based. And I was like, I still feel like there's a better way to describe it. It's a job description. Guys! It's a parenting job description. And so it is, it's the tasks and opportunities and responsibilities, right, if you were looking for a job, they lay out what some of the duties are. Okay, when I look at the parenting job description, I'm gonna respond to my kids' needs. I'm going to prevent risky behavior. I'm going to monitor, right, I'm going to keep track of them. I'm going to need to mentor them and teach them things and raise them into adults. And I'm going to need to model my behavior for them. Like, those are the parenting responsibilities and opportunities, like a job description. Okay. And it keeps going, right? Wait, there's more. So this idea, you know, in our first episode of the season, we talked about the consistent, effective, active, attentive, and we talked about that self talk around those words. And that's like, the performance review. Okay, so like in a job, you have your job description, which is the RPM3. And then you know, a performance review should work is that there's like these criteria of things you try to meet. And again, it's not for like, one day, like, were you effective today? It's over a long period, like a year.

Lori Korthals: 28:04

I love these.

Mackenzie Johnson: 28:05

And so it's a job description and then it's performance measures, like long term perspective. It's a job description, RPM3, it's a parenting job description. Can we call this? Isn't that a parenting job description?

Lori Korthals: 28:18

I think we can., as you're going through that. I'm

Mackenzie DeJong: 28:19

As you're going through that, it's like what goals would I set? Because that's always a review process. Right? What goals can I set around this for the next year, three years, five years?

Mackenzie Johnson: 28:28

And so I would say to myself, honestly, my goal is to be more consistent in my parenting. I'm using those, I don't like to say performance measures, but those concepts, and yeah, I can set goals. And it's not a matter of, because I'm not doing a good job. It's a matter of, I want to improve in this, like, this is something I'm working on in my parenting role, right? Okay, that's my revelation.

Lori Korthals: 29:00

Well, and I think it's a great way to look at it, because as you think about, we've covered all the entire age span. We went from infants to launched when we talked about each of the acronyms and the idea of, we have these roles and tasks during each of their ages. We need to monitor them at every age. We need to respond at every age. We need to, you know, so it happens at every age, and what would my goals be? Well, my goal would be to, you know, be active and consistent. And I might add in authentic and real and respectful. So I feel like this whole season has been about filling the tool box for your job as a parent in this lifelong journey. And we always say, you are always a parent. Once you're a parent, you're always a parent. You know, and here are some tools, you can choose this tool or that tool or this tool. You might put away specific tools during a certain time of their life. And, you know, I look at the tools in my house, I don't use a hammer for every project. You know, sometimes I use a wrench or a screwdriver, or sometimes I just need some tape. Like, just find me some tape, right? Yeah, it would not be used together?

Mackenzie DeJong: 30:30

It would not be useful to have a hammer when you need tape.

Mackenzie Johnson: 30:33

Oh, so yeah, there's so much. Yeah, I've always loved since I learned about it, this like model or approach of RPM3 and thinking about it as like, what am I getting into when I become a parent? These are the things and that research shows that can help us accomplish our parenting goals of raising great kids. We know there's more than one way to respond and more than one way to monitor, mentor, model, prevent, like all of them. There's more than one way to raise great kids. But these are the kinds of things we're signing up to do that research tells us helps raise great kids. I'm getting all savvy.

Mackenzie DeJong: 31:17

We're also at that, like, one year mark? Not like, we are. We're at that one year mark on our podcast. So we're getting to that point where we're like, oh, it's been a year, let's get savvy.

Lori Korthals: 31:32

It's been a process. And I think that what I have enjoyed over this year is that we've allowed it to be a process and that comes back to parenting. Parenting is a process. We have parented the podcast and we have modeled, hopefully, we've been real, we've been authentic.

Mackenzie DeJong: 31:56

I've done a lot of monitoring.

Lori Korthals: 32:00

And preventing.

Mackenzie Johnson: 32:01

And preventing. We're full of savvy today, aren't we? Yeah.

Mackenzie DeJong: 32:09

But I also want to say, we've reflected on the season, but reflecting on the year as well, thank you to everyone who's been with us for the year. Hopefully, you found something useful throughout the year and stick with us. And I do want to say just as kind of a shameless plug, if you found in the last year that you found something we've shared useful, and you know somebody that might also find it useful, go ahead and share it with them. Either the video, the audio, the blog, whatever, just you know, go ahead. We would greatly appreciate that. But I will let you go and wrap things up.

Mackenzie Johnson: 32:46

Sounds good. Thanks, Kenz. Thank you. Finally got her.

Mackenzie DeJong: 32:52

Don't get used to this. I won't let you know for a while again.

Mackenzie Johnson: 32:55

Oh, okay. I will say it did require me to stop and breathe, right, to not interrupt her before I talk. So yeah, that's season four, thinking all about this parenting job description, the role that we have as parents, and the approach that we take, and what research tells us helps raise great kids. Today, we got to dive specifically into this idea of modeling, and tapped into a few strategies for how we can actually practice, is that right?

Lori Korthals: 33:25

We did.

Mackenzie Johnson: 33:25

So that's season four. What's next?

Lori Korthals: 33:28

That's a wrap. So season five, we are going to take a little break before we go into our next season. And I think that the next season will be hopefully just as interesting and fun. But we're really going to take a look at all the different ages. And so all the way from launch to, you know, those things that are happening in those teenage brains down to the toddlers and the infants and, you know, really just talk about different age groups and age spans and what it is that they could possibly be thinking in that brain of theirs. I know that sometimes we wish we could read their minds, right? Well, we're gonna hopefully try to give you some nuggets on how to read their minds.

Mackenzie Johnson: 34:10

Yes. And it's honestly one of our most requested topics. People are like, tell me about my teenager or tell me about my toddler. And we are, we're going to be breaking it down a little bit. And so it might be a little different from other seasons in that, you know, every episode kind of fits every age. We'll dive into each one. And I think it'll still give great insight of like, okay, this is why my child behaved this way as an infant or this is why these things happen. And I'm ready for these next things that are coming, because I've heard all about them. So still tune into every episode. Just know it'll be kind of a different approach.

Lori Korthals: 34:45

Absolutely. I always remember people telling me when my kids were really, really little or when I only had one and she was an infant, oh, you're just going to love every stage. Every stage they go through ends up being my favorite and I have to say, that is true. Yeah, that is so true. Like, I love the stage that, you know, my oldest who's launched is in. I love the stage my college age daughter is in and I'm loving the stage that my high schooler is in. Is that part of the parenting job description to that? I don't know, of course. So yes, come back to us in season five. And be sure to join us along this journey of our Science of Parenting podcast and remember that you can subscribe to our weekly audio podcasts on Apple or Spotify or your favorite podcast app. You can watch the show on video each week and join us on Facebook and Twitter. On Twitter we're called Science of Parent. But we would love it if you would see our content in your feed.

Mackenzie Johnson: 35:55

Absolutely. Please do come along with us as we tackle the ups and downs, the ins and outs, and the research and reality all around The Science of Parenting.

Anthony Santiago: 36:04

The Science of Parenting is hosted by Lori Korthals and Mackenzie Johnson, produced by Mackenzie DeJong, with research and writing by Barbara Dunn Swanson. Send in questions and comments to parenting@iastate.edu and connect with us on Facebook and Twitter. This institution is an equal opportunity provider. For the full non-discrimination statement or accommodation inquiries, go to www.extension.state.edu/diversity/ext.